Familja do ta fejojë, 18-vjeçarja kërkon ndihmën e djalit të xhaxhait

Në qytetet e mëdha koha ecën, në shumë fshatra koha ka ngecur ose ecën ende pas dhe ata që vuajnë janë të rinjtë, të cilët kanë ëndrra që nuk u realizohen dot. Fatbardha vjen nga një fshat i Peshkopisë dhe është vetëm 18 vjeç. Ajo ka shumë dëshira, por më e rëndësishmja të vazhdojë shkollën e lartë. Por familja e saj nuk e pranon diçka të tillë, madje shpeshherë kanë tentuar edhe ta fejojnë, por për shkak të refuzimit të vazhdueshëm nga ana e saj, kjo gjë nuk është arritur.

Fatbardha ka ardhur në studion e rubrikës Ka një mesazh për ty në programin “E Diela Shqiptare” në Tv Klan, dhe ka thirrur djalin e xhaxhait, Shpëtimin, dhe ka një kërkesë për të. Ai e ka ndihmuar dhe mbështetur gjatë sëmundjes së babait të saj, por edhe pas vdekjes së tij, djali i xhaxhait ka qenë gjithmonë shpëtimi për Fatbardhën.

Fatbardha: Kam disa arsye tepër të forta dhe tepër thelbësore duke qenë se jam edhe vajzë e re. Siç dihet, mentaliteti në fshat është tejet i përhapur, madje mund të themi që në zonën time është jashtëzakonisht i përhapur.

Ardit Gjebrea: Në ç’kuptim?

Fatbardha: Kjo ndikon tek shumë goca, për shembull tek çështja e arsimit, një pjesë shumë e vogël e gocave e fillojnë shkollën e mesme, ndërsa e larta rrallë, nuk diskutohet që ta vazhdojnë. Ndërsa është edhe një çështje tjetër, fejesa, edhe kjo është arsyeja më e madhe që unë kam ardhur.

Ardit Gjebrea: Në çfarë moshe?

Fatbardha: 14-15.

Ardit Gjebrea: Që në këtë moshë?

Fatbardha: Që janë fejuar, dashuria që s’diskutohet absolutisht, një pjesë shumë e pakët e gocave e përjetojnë dashurinë, ose kanë frikë ta tregojnë. Sepse aty çdo gjë mbizotëron me frikën domethënë, mendojnë që me anë të frikës mund të vendoset rregulli në familje. Kjo nuk vlen vetëm për vajzat e reja, por vlen edhe për gratë sepse i kam përjetuar vetë rastet e grave, të cilat kanë dashur të shkojnë diku, ose të bëjnë diçka edhe nuk i ka lënë bashkëshorti. Ndërsa e kundërta ndodh me meshkujt, ekziston një pabarazi gjinore domethënë.

Ardit Gjebrea: Jeta jote si ka qenë?

Fatbardha: Familja ime përbëhet nga katër anëtarë. Mamaja, motra, unë që jam më e madhja dhe vëllai i vogël.

Ardit Gjebrea: Po babi?

Fatbardha: Babai ka ndërruar jetë, bën gati 5 vite në Qershor, nga një sëmundje e keqe tumor-malinje pankreas. Babai para se të sëmurej nga kjo sëmundje ka qenë edhe me depresion, me sëmundje mendore. Kjo gjë ka ndikuar edhe tek ne fëmijët, duke qenë se ai ushtronte dhunë. Edhe me të vërtetë. unë nuk e di çfarë është figura e mashkullit ose e babait për shembull, që të kem ndjerë ndonjëherë dashurinë e tij. Por në fund të fundit nuk i vë faj, se ai ka qenë me probleme mendore. Ndërkohë është bërë gati një vit që është endur spitaleve, qoftë në shtetëror, qoftë në privat dhe gjendja jonë ekonomike ka qenë dhe është jo e mirë. Edhe për këtë na ka ndihmuar mjaft çuni i xhaxhait, i cili është personi që do thërras sot, Shpëtimi. Ai ka mbuluar pothuajse gjithë shpenzimet financiare të babait. Por dua të vazhdoj tek çështja ime tani. Mua kanë tentuar shumë herë të më fejojnë, mbasi mbarova shkollën e mesme, domethënë kisha shpresë se do e vazhdoja dhe të lartën…

Ardit Gjebrea: Kush ka tentuar të të fejojë?

Fatbardha: Mamaja, të afërmit.

Ardit Gjebrea: Si ndodhin fejesat aty?

Fatbardha: Është diçka shumë e çuditshme për mua, që çuni është jashtë emigrant, ndërsa vijnë vjehrri dhe vjehrra për shembull, edhe merren vesh prindërit në radhë të parë, pastaj, në qoftë se do goca mirë, në qoftë se s’do prapë duhet të thotë patjetër po, kjo është më e keqe.

Ardit Gjebrea: Goca duhet të thotë gjithmonë po? Nuk pyetet fare?

Fatbardha: 99 përqind të rasteve kështu, nuk e di për mua është një krim të fejohen gocat pa kaluar të njëzetat, ose pa dashur vetë në radhë të parë..

Ardit Gjebrea: Ti sot ke thërritur?

Fatbardha: Sot kam thërritur çunin e xhaxhait, Shpëtimin.

Ardit Gjebrea: Që mesa duket është shpëtimi yt?

Fatbardha: Po me vërtetë ka qenë dhe është shpëtimi im. Pasi mbarova gjimnazin, që pretendoja të vija këtu të vazhdoja shkollën e lartë, i shkrojta edhe i kërkova të më ndihmonte, të rregullonte ndonjë bursë ose ndonjë gjë… Edhe ai kishte rregulluar një gjysmë burse, por aty filloi kundërshtimi i parë, mbyllja e parë për shkollën për shkak se kundërshtuan të afërmit e tjerë.

Ardit Gjebrea: Po ç’lidhje kanë ata? Ti me nënën tënde e vendos vetë jetën tënde?

Fatbardha: Kjo është diçka që duhet të jetë për të gjithë, por në fakt nuk është kështu, sidomos për në fshat. Sepse dihet që kur nuk është kryefamlijari duhet të jetë xhaxhai ose dikush tjetër që duhet të vendosi. Çdo mënyrë komunikimi ka qenë në formën e debatit, edhe prandaj e kam thërritur që të paktën të bindë mamanë që të vazhdoj një kurs..

Ardit Gjebrea: Një kurs ku?

Fatbardha: Një kurs për call center, anglisht.

Shpëtimi vjen në studio dhe kur shikon në anën tjetër të ekranit kushërirën e tij, habitet sepse nuk e priste që ajo t’i bënte këtë surprizë.

Shpëtimi: Historia e tyre është e trishtë, para 4 vjetësh kemi humbur xhaxhain dhe këta fëmijë janë rritur me babin e sëmurë, gati 17 vite. Është më e lehtë të akuzosh sesa të mbrosh. Humbja e xhaxhait ka qenë një s’provë e madhe, për të gjithë. Nëna e Bardhës ose nusja e xhaxhait tim është me të vërtetë një heroinë sepse ka bërë 17 vite përpjekje për t’i qëndruar, shërbyer xhaxhait, për t’i shërbyer fëmijëve. Sigurisht që ne kemi ofruar pjesën tonë, e kemi patur detyrë dhe nuk ka asgjë për të falenderuar këtu. Kemi bërë atë pjesë që kemi mundur dhe është dashur të bëhet. Sigurisht unë jam e njohur me historinë e tashme të Bardhës, për sa i përket shkollimit, kam qenë pro që në momentet e para. Tani historia ka qenë njëçik komplekse sepse vendimarrja nuk varej vetëm nga unë, pavarësisht se unë jam pro shkollimit sepse besoj se një shoqëri e mirëshkolluar është një shoqëri më e dobishme, shoqëri më e prosperuar. Dhe në këtë aspekt përveç detyrës, si e afërmja ime për ta ndihmuar Bardhën, aq më tepër që në momentin që ka vdekur xhaxhai im, i kam venë një detyrë vetes që do mundohem të zvendësoj xhaxhain, sigurisht bashkë me të tjerët, por duke qenë se kam patur mundësi ekonomike, ndoshta pak më tepër se të tjerët, për të qenë unë i pari proritar në këtë drejtim.

Ai tregon se moslejimi nga ana e familjes që Fatbardha të vazhdojë shkollën është sepse ata kanë frikë dhe merak për të, që ajo të jetë në një vend të panjohur.

Shpëtimi: Ata kanë arsyet e tyre. Ka një frikë se ardhja e Bardhës këtu, në një ambient të panjohur, me problematika. Duke pasur parasysh këto, xhaxhallarët e mi, por edhe nusja e xhaxhait kanë merak, se ajo është drita e syve duke qenë se është fëmija i parë.

Shpëtimi kërkon që Fatbardha të marrë angazhimin që nuk do zhgënjejë familjen, por edhe që do përpiqet maksimalisht që të ketë rezultate shumë të mira në shkollë. Nga ana tjetër, ai premton që do jetë gjithmonë në krah të saj dhe do kujdeset për të, madje do i sigurojë edhe një punë.

Shpëtimi: Zotimi që do kërkoja prej Bardhës është që ti drejtohet nënës së vetë së pari dhe të marrë angazhimin që jo vetëm nuk do t’i zhgënjejë, por do të përpiqet maksimalisht për të qenë shumë mirë në mësime. Do jetë studente shembullore dhe duke qenë e tillë, do gjejë edhe punë dhe unë prapë do loboj në këtë drejtim që ajo të gjejë një vend të mirë pune. Ndoshta, duke qenë se ajo ka pasion shkencat kompjuterike, unë kam një vend vakant aty tek puna. Unë do zotohem që do qëndroj maksimalisht në krahun tënd

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