100 vjetori i poetit/ Stuhia e shtatorit dhe dashuria e çiftit Zorba

March 31, 2020 admin Aktualitet 1860

Sot shënohet 100 vjetori i Zef Zorbës, një poet i rrallë, vargjet e të cilit i kapërcyen kufijtë fizikë e kohorë. Është quajtur poeti hermetik, vargjet e të cilit për gjysëm shekulli qëndruan në sirtar. I burgosur dhe i përndjekur nga regjimi komunist Zorba do të përjetonte një dramë të gjatë në jetën e tij, por falë forcës shpirtërore do të mbijetonte, do të shkruante çdo ditë dhe do të na linte trashëgim një pasuri të rrallë letrare.

Zef Zorba lindi më 1920 në Kotorr të Malit të Zi në një familje shqiptare. Mbas mbarimit të gjimnazit në Shkodër, më 1941 regjistrohet në Fakultetin e Shkencave Shoqërore, dega e Studimeve Politike në Universitetin e Padovas në Itali. I ndërpret studimet më 1943 për shkak të Luftës së Dytë Botërore dhe kthehet në Shkodër, ku fillon punën si nëpunës banke.

Ishte një intelektual që bënte dritë në çdo formë që e shprehte artin e tij. Nis angazhimin si regjisor në Teatrin e Shkodër, ku bie në sy pasi vë në skenë dramën Juda makabe” të Fishtës, një shfaqje që shkonte krejt kundër rrymës me ideologjinë e regjimti të ri që ishte instaluar.

Në ato ditë të bukura ndërsa punonte në Teatër njihet dhe dashurohet me aktoren Terezina Pali, një grua e bukur me nji botë të rrallë shpirtërore, të cilën Zef Zorba e ka portretizuar plot ngjyra në vargjet e poezive të tij, vargje që i mbajti në dry, për dekada me rradhë. Dashuria e të dyve veç shkëlqimit e pasionit do të përballej me dhimbjen dhe errësirën që ushqente regjimi, sidomos në qytetin e tyre që komunistët e kishin vënë nën shënjestër.

A e shef si po lëkundem?

Nuk do të kalonin shumë kohë, e mbase pikërisht prej mesazheve artistike që përcillte në dramën “Juda Makabe” por edhe te “Armiku i Popullit”, dy të artistët do të goditeshin rëndë dhe historia e tyre pasionante do të kërcënohej prej ndarjes së dhunshme. Do të arrestoheshin të dy, në shtator të vitit 1946, fillimisht Tereza e mandej edhe Zefi. Deri në vitin 1951. Prej këtij ndëshkimi krejt të padrejtë ata të dy do ta kalonin jetën të ndarë fizikisht, por pa i braktisur për asnjë moment ndjenjat e tyre. Do të ribashkoheshin menjëherë pas daljes nga burgu e jeta e tyre do të mbushej sërish me dritën e lumturisë. Mes vargjeve të shumtë të Zorbës do të vlente të risillej kjo poezi që shenjon pikërish shtatorin e zymtë që i goditi pabesisht….

Pas daljes në liri (a mund të quhej liri ajo?) Zorba i rikthehet profesionit të vjetër si llogaritar. Vargjet që shkruante mund të jetonin veç në fshetësi, për dekada me radhë, në sirtar!

Puna e përditshme rridhte ndërrmarrjeve të rrethit të Shkodrës si llogaritar deri në vitin 1980, kur dhe del në pension. I distancuar, në këtë rrjedhë jete, që së jashtmi dukej e qetë, Zorba i linte përjetimet e tij të vërteta në poezi. Vargjet dëshmojnë se në jetën e tij qetësia nuk u kthye më kurrë e revolta hodhi rrënjë deri në rënien e regjimit komunist. Por në jetën e përditshme, në komunikimet familjare ai shpaloste tiparin e një njeriu me humor të hollë e që jetës ia kishte gjetur ilaçin.

Në këtë letër që Zorba ia shkruan Terezës në vitin 1973, kohë kur ajo ndodhej në spital, dhe ai i stërmunduar nga lodhja e punës së përditshme, s’mundej ta shihte për një kohë të gjatë, përshkruan me një stil të jashtëzakonshëm jetën dhe botëkuptimin e tyre mbi atë periudhë ku jetonin.

E dashtuna Tereza!

Pashë letrën tande. Kërkojshe me të shkrue unë e m’a thanë dhe varzat. Njëherë thashë me vete: “Ooo, dashka me i shkrue!” Mandej mendova e thashë prap me vete: “Jo, e bu!” Madje edhe përdrodha buzët, një herë, por ma në fund vendosa: uf, hajt mirë: po i shkruej pra!” E kur mendova ma mirë e hoqa shprehjen “hajt mirë” e hoqa shprehjen “pra”, e mbeti vetëm “po i shkruej”.

E po të shkruej.

Pse?

E mirë, për shumë arsye.

Uroj të bahesh mirë e të kthejsh me shëndet të plotë në shtëpi. Asht edhe puna se kam konstatue një gja që s’e kam pasë vu re ma parë. Ti e di, gjithmonë më asht dukë se po flej ma rahat kur kam të gjithë shtratin në dispozicion. E natyrshme, a por jo? Me tanë këto kambë të gjata që kam. Mirë po, parmbrami s’më merrte gjumi (ti e kupton, s’asht ndonjë gja e re pagjumësia te unë) e po rrotullohesha herë këndej, herë andej. Në një shenj kohe m’u duk se gjeta pozicionin ma të mirë: kisha shtri kambët tërthuer, dmth në pjesen tande të shtratit. “Prit – thashë me vete – ta shof njëherë pozicionin që kam marrë” Pa levizë trupin ndeza dritën e konstatova se me të vertetë kisha ra sallki, por vendi jot ishte bosh. Thashë prap me vete: “Po unë gjithmonë kështu flejë, e ajo, e mbledhun pak në vetvete, më len shteg pa kundërshtim m’u hapë si më përshtatet ma mirë. “Eja, pra. Vendin e ke gjithmonë.

Mandej sot nadje mbasi hoqa dreqin e mallkuem me ba kafen, kur e shpraza në filxhan, ky u përmys e kafja u derdh mbi shtroje e përmbi libra, sepse tavolina mbushë me gjithfarë sendesh: pjata, libra, rraqe e njëqind mijë sende të tjera, nuk kishte vend të mjaftueshem ku me vendosë filxhanin. Tash të kishesh qene ti në shtëpi, pikë e parë kafen m’a kishe pjekë ti, e pikë e dytë, të ishte derdhe sikurse u derdh, se paku unë do të kisha pasë kuej me i folë, kuej me iu drejtue me vrejtjet e mija etiko-estetike mbi shrregullimet, mbi marimangat, mbi edukaten, mbi kulturen, e magari tue i shoqnue vrejtjet me atë fjalorin e pasun timin që shpalosi në të tilla raste. Por tue mos qenë ti këtu e tanë ajo enfazë e apostrofimeve lartësisht artistike dramatike të mija shkoi bosh, kumboj për pak sekonda nëpër kuzhinë, por mejti trishtueshem. Qeni, që flente në divan, pati njëherë një tronditje, e m’u ba qefi në një farë mënyre sepse qe se pakut qenit i paskeshin ba përshtypje fjalët e mija, por s’kishte qenë ashtu si kujtova: atë e kishte pickue një plesht, sepse u vu m’u krue si mos të kishte ndodhë asgja me kafen. Atëhere sajova fraza edhe ma të ngjyrosuna ku futa përsonazhet e të tri poemave danteske, materiale organike dhe jo organike, figura të zymta rembrandiane, verizma leonardeske, sektorë të grumbullimit të hedhurinave… por s’bani pare. Ti s’ishe, e s’pati kush me reague, as me durue

U detyrova me përsërit të gjitha operacionet për bamjen e kafes tjetër që doli krejt për dreq.

E s’po permendi mandej pullat që janë tue u keput si mos më kurrë, pantallonat, që mbasi hoqa të zitë e ullinit me i hekuros, kanë rezultue me dy vija, rroga e 15 ditëshit që ka mbarue qysh kur, e tjera, e tjera, e per të cilat gjana unë s’kam me kë zihem.

Por nejse, ti do të sherohesh e do te vish prap në shtëpi e çdo gja do të kthehet në rutinën normale. Ndokuej edhe mund t’i duket anormale, por tue mbajtë parasysh se të tilla anormalitete janë ba normale, nuk ka asgja të çditshme në këto, apo jo! Asht puna si kur të mesohet veshi me disonanca e disakorde, vjen koha që këto të duken krejt normale, madje duken anormale konsonancat dhe akordet. Njashtu sikur të duket anormale kur veshë këpucë të reja e s’din me ecë me ata as ku me i mbajtë kambët, kurse me ato të vjetrat je rahat që ç’ke me të.

Sa shtigje të vështira kemi kalue bashkë. Nganjëherë edhe çuditem me vetevete si kemi dalë m’anësh. E me ç’farë mjetesh? Gadi gjithmonë me aq pak sa që në çdo moment më dukesh se gjithçka do të rroposej. Jetë e mundishme, por kush po i jep randësi. Na të dy si kemi vu randësi mungesave e mundit, e lodhjes kurrë e jo ma tash që na janë ba petk, pa vartësisht se forcat tona s ‘janë ma ato të dikurshmet, madje çdo ditë e me tepër vijnë tue u pakësue. Veçse vullnetin e kemi ende të ri, e kjo ka ma vlerë se çdo gja tjetër

E mandej edhe ne ndoshta na prihet mbarë e do të bahemi dikur me ble një radio gramafon Hi-Fi bashkë me një diskotekë të pasun simfonike. Plakemi: reumatizmat, stomaku e kushdi tjetër edhe mund të na trazojnë ndojherë, mbase herë mbas here dhe unë do të bahem nervoz……… Por mandej do të vejmë në gramafon diskun e poemës simfonike të Ravelit “Nana ime, pata” e do ta ndëgjojmë bashkë. Natyrisht ty, si e ke zakon, mbas pak batutash ka për të marrë gjumi në poltron (do të kemi poltrona, atëhere) e do të vazhdojsh me pa andërr patën që struk nën flatra zogjkat e veta. E mua do të më marrë gazi.

Pardje kam ndie se mjelmat jetojshin deri në njëqind vjet dhe se çifti që bashkohet një herë në rini nuk ndahet kurrë ma për tanë jetën.

A të kam shkrue mjaft tash! Madje po me vjen disi marre se kam shkrue gjatë si sot e njëzet e sa vjet ma parë.

E mos u ban e marrë.

Bepi

E këtillë rrodhi jeta e këtij poeti, që vargjet nuk ia njihet kërkush veç nji rrethi të ngushtë, derisa mbylli sytë në janar të vitit 1993.

Në heshtjen e thellë të këtij gjysmëshekulli, Zorba, i pajisur me një kulturë të mrekullueshme vizatoi figurën e intelektualit të vërtetë, larg kompromiseve. Ai krijoi një afinitet të çuditshëm me letërsinë e filozofinë modernë duke përkthyer poetë të tillë si R. Frost, Xh. Ungareti, S. Kuazimodo, E. Montale, T.S. Eliot, dramaturgë si Shou, Pirandelo, Uelld, Martin, e filozofë si B. Kroçe, H. Xh. Gadamer etj.

Zorba filloi të njihej pas viteve ’90.Studiuesi Xhahid Bushati për Zef Zorbën shpehet se ai ka një rrugëtim intelektuali, i paisur me magjinë e letërsisë, i paisur me fushen e shkencave politike. Në formim për ta patur zili.Drita e diturisë së tij e dritësonte qytetin e tij ku kaloi shumë vite jete.E nderonte qytetin.Ishte një njeri me pronësi të madhe intelektuale. Zorba me poezinë e tij i theu kornizat e tabutë e sistemit komunist. Ishte poet evropian dhe për këtë flasin hapësirat e poezisë së tij. Erdhi me një profil të veçantë si askush, për t’ia shtuar dhe më tej kurorën letërsisë shipe, sidomos poezisë/kujto.al

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