Fjalori i dashurisë sipas Zygmunt Bauman: Nga joshja, te erosi dhe seksi

November 22, 2019 admin Kulture 892

Dashuria
Dashuria është kthyer në një nga pjesët e lojës së vazhdueshme njerëzore në të cilën kundërvihen siguria dhe liria. Një lojë ku përfshihemi – herë me entuziazëm, herë me armiqësi – të gjithë ne që praktikojmë artin e jetës dhe jemi produktet parësore apo dytësore, krijuesit, autorët dhe aktorët…
Në çdo dashuri ka të paktën dy qenie, ku secili prej të dyve është i panjohuri i madh në ekuacionin e tjetrit. Kjo bën që dashuria të perceptohet si një kapriço e fatit: ajo e ardhme e çuditshme dhe misterioze, e pamundur për t’u parashikuar, parandaluar, evituar, përshpejtuar apo ndaluar. Të dashurosh do të thotë t’i ofrohesh atij fati, atij kushtit më sublim njerëzor, një gjendje në të cilën frika dhe gëzimi ngatërrohen në një përzierje që nuk i lejon më përbërësit e saj të ndahen. Dhe t’i ofrohesh atij fati, në një analizë të fundit, do të thotë të pranosh lirinë e qenies: atë liri që është mishëruar te Tjetri, te partneri i zemrës.

Erosi
Sigurisht, Erosi nuk ka vdekur. Por ai është larguar nga mbretëria e tij duke u dënuar të endet pa qëllim, të zvarritet pafundësisht. Sot Erosi gjendet gjithandej, por në asnjë vend nuk do të mbetet për një kohë të gjatë. Nuk ka adresë fikse: nëse dëshironi ta gjeni, shkruajini dhe shpresoni në më të mirën.

Lidhjet
Lidhjet janë zëvendësuar nga “kontaktet”. Teksa lidhjet kërkojnë impenjim, të krijosh apo të heqësh kontakte është një lojë fëmijësh. Në Facebook mund të kesh qindra miq vetëm me një lëvizje gishti. Të krijosh miq offline është më e komplikuar. Ajo që fitohet në sasi, humbet në cilësi. Ajo që fitohet në lehtësi (të shkëmbyer me lirinë), humbet në siguri.

Rutina
Perspektiva e plakjes tashmë duket jashtë mode, e identifikuar me një zvogëlim të mundësive të zgjedhjes me mungesën e “risisë”. Ajo “risi”, që në shoqëritë konsumatore është ngjitur në majën më të lartë të hierarkisë së vlerave është konsideruar si çelësi i lumturisë. Kërkojmë të mos e tolerojmë rutinën, sepse që fëmijë jemi mësuar të kemi objekte “përdor dhe hidh”, për t’i zëvendësuar shpejt. Nuk e njohim më kënaqësinë e gjërave që zgjasin, fryt i një pune skrupuloze… Emocionet kalojnë, ndërsa ndjenjat duhen zhvilluar.

Joshja
Flirtimi i ngadaltë dhe kompleks, vepër e joshjes të cilën sot mund ta lexojmë vetëm në romanet e një kohe, nuk janë të ndaluara: nuk janë pengesa fluide, të tepërta, të rënda dhe irrituese që pengojnë rrugën drejt “objektivit final” (siç na është thënë të besojmë), por vetëm sjellje të rëndësishme, ndoshta bazike, të atij objektivi të njëjti, e madje të gjithçkaje që është erotike dhe “sexy” nga hijeshia e saj.

Seksi
Sot pritet që seksi të jetë autonom dhe i vetëmjaftueshëm, që të “qëndrojë në këmbët e veta”, që të gjykohet vetëm në bazë të kënaqësisë që mund të prodhojë (edhe pse normalisht është nën pritshmërinë e ushqyer prej medias). Nuk është për t’u habitur se aftësia për të gjeneruar frustrim dhe të  përkeqësojë sensin e largimit që pikërisht shpresonte të shëronte, u rrit në të gjitha përmasat. Fitorja e seksit në luftën e madhe për pavarësi dëshmoi, se në rastin më të mirë, ishte si fitorja e Pirros. Duket se ilaçi magjik gjeneron sëmundje jo më të vogla dhe ndoshta më akute se ato që premtonte për të shëruar./ Citimet në këtë artikull janë marrë nga librat e Zygmunt Baumanit, “Moderniteti i lëngët”, “Gjëra që kemi të përbashkëta”, “Dashuri e lëngët” dhe intervista për gazetën “La Repubblica”. Baumani është një nga teoricienët e sociologjisë më të njohur në botë dhe ka shkruar shumë vepra mbi çështje të modernitetit, Holokaustit, konsumin post-modern dhe mbi modernitetin e lëngët, koncept që ai e lidh me paaftësinë e këtij të fundit për të administruar ndryshimin e tij të vazhdueshëm.

Zygmunt Bauman
Zygmunt Bauman
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